I hate this day. May 9th....on this day 4 years ago my brother, my best friend, Steven was in a horrible accident that took his life and changed my family's lives forever. As Drew gets older and remembers and talks about all of his relatives, I think about how much Steven would have been a part of Drew's life and how much Drew would have loved him. The other night Drew brought into the kitchen a picture of Steven and I that was leaning against a wall in my bedroom. He showed it to me and I told him that it was his Uncle Steve, and Drew said in the sweetest voice, "Uncle Steve." It warmed my heart just to hear my little boy mention his name like he knew him and maybe in spirit he does.
Today Drew has been so sweet to me and has said the cutest things. This morning we were in his fort and he looked at me and smiled and said, "I am so happy mommy!" Then he lifted up my shirt and said "lay with baby sister" and put his head on my tummy. I know that Drew will be every bit the big brother that Steve was to me and will show her unconditional love and friendship.
It's true that death really makes you appreciate the little things in life and is a constant reminder that the spiritual world surrounds us. Drew and I walk every morning and we always keep an eye out for rollie pollies. On a good day we find one, two at most. Well today, we found 8 rollie pollies and they filled our bucket. I looked up at that moment and knew Steven was smiling down on us. Then when we got to the pond where we look for fish or other animals to feed we were surrounded by 5 turtles and more fish than we could count. I know Steven is with me every day, I just wish for more. But, until we meet again, I will remember him in all the little blessings of every day life and the smiles of Drew and his baby sister.
I love you and miss you big brother! You were warm, funny, courageous, an artist, a musician, a true friend and showed more unconditional love than anyone around you could imagine.
